Looking Back on 2012

Tags

brian, canada, friends, gall bladder, herchorn, hospitals, momma bean, munkie, uk

2012 was an interesting year for me. It started off so well, had a huge upswing in the middle of the year and has tapered off to a point where I am not quite sure what I am doing with my life. Hopefully 2013 will be better.

Some highlights – both good and bad:

• at the beginning of the year I was flying back to Canada from spending Christmas 2011 in the UK with Munkles, who I met on Twitter. I was feeling so high and sad at the same time – as I had a wonderful Christmas week.
• Finishing off the process to get my Lithuanian Passport – I’d been working on it since late 2010 but I was finally able to get all the documentation together – my dad’s Travel Visa issued by the Military Government of West Germany in 1948, birth certificates, old passports etc all being photocopied, notorised and professionally translated. I finally was able to get the passport in early July of 2012.
• While finishing off my LT passport application I got to spend 2 days in Ottawa with my Momma Bean. It was a bit bitter sweet as she knew what my goal was, but we had a lovely two days.
• Munkie came to visit me in March – I took a week off work and we went down to Niagara Falls, spent the night there with a spectacular view of the Horseshoe Falls, visited a bird sanctuary and wandered about.
• Momma Bean met Munkie.
• Exposed Munkie to the delights of Vietnamese, Korean and Eastern European cuisine.
• Dr Herschorn agreed to do the perineal repair – yay!
• June I had gall bladder surgery, or atleast theoretically – the perineal repair was done, as was the removal of a very large bladder stone. But sadly I had too much abdominal adhesions for the General Surgeon to see anything safely so the lapriscopic attempt wasn’t successful
• Both Jenn and Stephanie were lovely during my recovery – taking care of me. Stephanie took me to the hospital the next morning as I wasn’t able to get my catheter in and Dr Herschorn was able to fix me up and we got to spend some time with Brian at the Sunnybrook cafeteria. I had jello and 7-Up for “lunch”
• The purge of my wordly goods was quite painful – I still greatly miss my iMAC, my iPAD, and my books (1000+). The purge was good as I was too cheap to ship it all on a cargo ship. I managed to reduce my life down to two suitcases and a backpack.
• August I flew out to be with Munkie. Getting through Customs at Gatwick was a breeze – not once was I stopped, as with an EU passport I was able to bypass the huge line-ups
• Had a couple mini-holidays with Munkie – Harrogate and Ely
• Got to see my Ruthie a couple times
• Made a baby blankie for Geeklawyer’s & Mrs Geekie’s new prince
• Had a gall bladder attack and discovered how the NHS is about 30yrs behind the times with regards to care standards
• The UK government treats its citizens like simpletons when it comes to medication – I had to get permission to purchase some Lemsip, and don’t even get me started on a conversation I had with a pharmacist over my request to purchase Pepto Bismol .. it’s behind the counter here and you need to request it, even though you don’t need a prescription for it.
• Getting a urologist is extremely painful here – GPs can refer you to a hospital and it’s up to that clinic who you get assigned to. If I need one who specialises in bladder repair why not just refer me to them directly?
• I did not have a wonderful Christmas, it was pretty painful during certain points and I hope to whatever deity there is that I don’t have to go through such emotional pain again.
• And now I am contemplating how I want my life to go.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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My Surgery, Day After

Tags

catheter, dr herschorn, friends, gall bladder, momma bean, recovery, sunnybrook, surgery

This past Tuesday I went in to Sunnybrook for my surgery. To remind my faithful readers there were to be 3 procedures done:

• gall bladder removal (the major component of the surgery)
• perineum repair
• removal of a huge stone in my urinary bladder -every UTI I have the stone sucks up the infections and keeps “transmitting” to the bladder, so I was never infection free while this stone existed

Momma Bean accompanied me to the hospital and we got in early, as I needed to stock up on some extra gauze, paper tape and surgical lubricant — all of which I need every time I catheterise. We went to “Same Day Surgery” and registered. I was taken in, stripped down and put into a hospital gown. 3 different nurses tried to start an IV in me, but sadly my veins were very disobedient. The nurses complained that my skin was quite tough – to which I pointed out that I am dehydrated cos of being NPO since midnight.

Momma Bean was allowed to come in and sit with me while I waited to be wheeled upstairs. I had a little draped corner because I am still on the MRSA-dangerous list. This made it difficult if I needed to poop or leave for other personal reasons.

I was finally wheeled up 90 minutes past the scheduled time. Seems no one told the OR cleaners that the OR had to be scrubbed & prepped for an MRSA patient. I was wheeled in and then the two anaesthetists (Staff Doctor & Resident [trainee doctor]) tried to start an IV in me. After 7 pokes an IV was started. I was promptly put to sleep and woke up several hours later in Post-Op.

I was told in Post-Op that they didn’t take out the gall bladder. I was not happy, to say the least, But I was also so woozy and high, coming off the anaesthetic I barely heard anything. I managed to wake up enough & be cognisant enough to be sent home. Momma Bean took me home and viola! There was my Stephanie waiting for me. Tarotcub let her into my flat. Stephanie spent the night, on my sofa, while I rested in bed. She watched a bit of Netflix and just made sure I didn’t need any emergency help while I was still coming off the anaesthetic.

In the middle of the night I got hungry so I nibbled on a caramel flavoured rice cake. Unfortunately I threw up, remembering then that I am to be on a clear liquid diet until my bowels start working. In the morning I was toddling about and tried to catheterise. Unfortunately a catheter couldn’t get in and I ended up with lots of bloody gauze in the bathroom. Woke Stephanie up and off we went to Sunnybrook. Fortunately Dr Herschorn has his clinic days on Wednesdays. I got in, spoke to Donna (cystoscopy clinic head receptionist) and helen (Dr Herschorn’s secretary) and got in with Dr Herschorn. He tried inserting a catheter but he wasn’t successful either. So I was wheeled into the Cystoscopy procedure room and via the cystascope a foley catheter was inserted into me. I’m attached to a pee bag now.

Afterwards met up with Dr Herschorn and we discussed the surgery and why the gall bladder couldn’t be taken out. When Dr Ross got in with the lapriscope there was so much internal scarring and adhesions that he couldn’t get a clear view of the gall bladder. It would have been too dangerous for him to continue. He didn’t just slice me completely open as it would have taken nearly 10hrs to clear up all the adhesions and then take out the gall bladder. A surgery that big needs to be discussed with me. I understand fully why, my last surgery I was under for 11hrs and I was failing towards the end. I ended up in ICU for about 4-5 days because I wasn’t doing too well recovering from the surgery. I am to see Dr Herschorn next week for an assessment and see what the next steps are.

After leaving the Cysto Clinic Stephanie and I met up with Brian. He’s a lovely friend and hospital chaplain (nowadays called Spiritual Care Provider) at my hospital. We had a little chat in the sunny hospital cafeteria. I had some 7-Up and a cup of jello for lunch, all very filling.

Got home and there was my lovely Jenn. Jenn took care of me yesterday, making sure I didn’t need anything while I was resting. I slept mostly while Jenn played on the computer and checked on me. Momma Bean showed up and regaled Jenn with stories of her childhood in communist Poland.  Jenn left close to midnight when her Fraser picked her up and Momma Bean spent the night. I believe my Momma Bean really likes Jenn as she calls Jenn “that lovely young woman” – I could tell cos my mom was quite the chatterbox with Jenn yesterday. I have never seen her that animated and that chatty with anyone speaking only English. She even shared her spicy saurkraut with Jenn.

I’m doing okay. Just really sleepy, which is good. I haven’t eaten anything as of yet today, except for 2 fruit popsicles which Chris bought a box for me.

How Connected Are We?

Tags

family, friends, friendships, relationships

A dear friend of mine is going through a huge amount of emotional turmoil at the moment – a friend of his has been missing for a couple of weeks and there has been a poster campaign, to help find this friend. Skanda is quite popular in the Toronto Gay Community – well liked, sociable from what I understand. He was last seen leaving Zippers, which is a local bar, and no one has seen him since.

This has caused me to ponder who well do we know each other, and how connected are we to each other? I remember growing up where we knew each other, and we sort of kept tabs on each other; if a friend hadn’t been outside to play for a day or two we kids would knock on their door and ask their parent(s) if everything was okay. Our parents could depend on neighbours and friends, without having to actually say anything .. cos we were all in constant contact with each other we could tell when something was wrong. And when my sister died in ’83 the entire neighbourhood rallied to help us through that difficult time. I seriously doubt that would happen nowadays.

I live in the city centre/downtown core of Toronto. I can see the roof of Maple Leaf Gardens from my balcony and hear the melodic thumping from Church Street whenever there is some street party there. But do I know my neighbours? Would they notice if I wasn’t seen for a few days? Not really.

I know I harp on about this, but when I rushed myself to the ER last year, a friend was to show up later that day with some groceries for me. He showed up, knocked and got worried that all he could hear were the pathetic “mews” of my new kitten. He promptly got in touch with Tarotcub and between the two of them they managed to figure out where I was. Christmas 2007 I rushed myself to the ER with severe abdominal pain and ended being admitted with MRSA and a UTI for 3 weeks. I was conscious enough to ring my parents, but I admit it sucked having to spend Christmas in the hospital being poked & prodded. But again, I had the wherewithal to ring for family.

What is odd and pleasantly so is that my building’s super & security guards notice when I’m not around. Back to Christmas 2007 my homecare nurse showed up to do my daily dressing and the security guard told her that I wasn’t in, that I had rushed myself to the ER – I actually never tell the security guard where I’m going, but I guess with my waiting for a taxi at 3am in the morning wearing nothing but slippers and a couple hospital gowns, this is an indication that I am going somewhere antiseptic & hospital-like. During my convalescence from the Nov’07 surgery security & the super were so understanding of my medical situation that my homecare nurses never had to ring up, they would just show up at the door and security would let them in.

So I guess I am lucky that there are a number of people who do notice when I’m not around. Cat is one those, who stalks my Facebook activity. They have all learnt that if there is no activity to start calling Sunnybrook (my hospital).

But that is me – what about the rest of the peeps out there. Would anyone notice if you were missing for a day or two?

Musings on 2009

Tags

accounting, friends, geeklawyer, health, holidays, hospital, lietuva, lithuania, parents, romuva, ruthie, work

2009 was an eventful year for me, and looking back to January 2009 I don’t think a year ago I could have imagined what the next twelve months would be like. To be brief it was a year which I do not look too kindly upon, but yet there were little gems which I shall treasure and remember fondly.

Some of the “excitement”:

• visiting Ruthie & traveling to LT with Geeklawyer — and him continuing the annual tradition of nearly killing me whilst driving.
• The Beangirl Pissup in Brighton with a bunch of tweeples — rah_rah, mrspboutique, akacarlos, special_noodles, ruharper, nancetron
• Geeklawyer’s visit to the colonies — three fun-filled weeks of the stench of coffee in my flat, the tequila war between Chris & Lydia (gamely encouraged and funded by  Geeklawyer), a visit to Ottawa for their WinterFest and his pronounciation that “Ottawa is quite lovely, except for the French), and my beloved Pupa’s need to mark Geeklawyer with his claws
• Pupa getting gravely ill. At the end of March he was in hospital cos his little urethra was blocked, and again in June. I had to put him down, just a few scant days after his 6th birthday. I bawled my eyes out and thankfully Chris was there to help me while little Pupa was slowly falling asleep for the last time.
• Getting Aras and Linas — the two new pussies in my life. One likes to mark me anywhich way he can, and the other is like a limp towel in my arms, just collapsing like a souffle when I pick him up.
• My first problems with the catheter in May — nothing like going to St Mike’s Hospital with a blood soaked nightgown, to get taken care of quickly
• Living with an indwelling catheter (a foley for you more medically inclined) for 4 months.
• Going into septic shock and being intibated in July, and put on a ventilator for nearly 10 days .. oh what great joy that was, thankfully all of it is a blank for me.
• Watching Cat, Mike, Chris and Puck struggle with the hospital gowns cos I was in isolation… turns out that they also visited me while in CrCU (Critical Care Unit)…but I don’t remember … all they tell me is that I was pale, and looked really really bad.
• Finding out I have 2 wee bladder stones .. still discussing when those will be removed.
• My annual appointment with Dr Lee, my uro-gynecologist and who worked on my surgery in November 2007. Her portion of the surgery is still holding strong, defying all expectations.
• Even though I bitch about my co-workers’ skills, or lack thereof, where I work is a very good environment for me; nothing like the hell that Airmiles was where I worked monster hours and rarely ever had a home life.
• Crotcheting chthulhus for my tweeps.
• Getting to know several people much better – Stephanie, Jenn, Fraser, Cat, Kari, Mark, Dawna, Robert & Rachael; and losing touch with other friends cos of life .. just reiterates how life just ebbs and flows, and how friends pull back and others come forward to take their place.
• The madcap Breakfast Club, all started as a bit of fun, but which I enjoy thoroughly.
• Discovering a shared addiction to yarn with — Cat, Stephanie, Rachael, Jenn, Josie
• Trying to be supportive of friends who’ve had a very difficult time in 2009 because of their own health issues
• Meeting up with the Trinkunai in Vilnius — it was absolutely lovely, came away with a better sense of which direction Romuva in the diaspora should be going towards, as expressed by the Krivis
• Attending my first Rasa (Summer Solstice) at Verkiu Parkas in Vilnius .. I went to LT at a perfect time, the whole country was celebrating the triumph of Saule, the sun goddess
• This was my father’s last trip to LT, he’s become quite frail, and I believe that it helped a lot that atleast one of his kids was there with him during the last trip.. didn’t help matters that I got sick and his nostalgic tour was fraught with great worry over me.
• Hosting my first Kucios — there were 9 of us, and I believe it worked beautifully; I hope to do it again next year.
• I’ve also  had moments of great sadness and despair — I am getting really tired of being “the strong one” in my family, amongst my peer group, and amongst my work colleagues. My hope for 2010 is to find some support, which means I need to breakdown my reserve and actually ask for help… it’s very difficult for me, as I have been trained up since I was an infant to be only dependent on myself cos of my health issues.

So what do I hope for 2010?

• I have given up beer for 2010 (cheeky grin)
• Continue with the friendships that I am forging, and that even means succumbing to Cat’s desire to select my wardrobe
• Asking for help when I truly need it
• To find inner serenity
• Continue with my reading of Baltic texts, and immersing myself more into my faith-path
• Support my father —  he truly believes that he will not make it to the next Christmas

This weekend

Tags

andrew, dinner, friends, lydia, puck, pupa

Thought I’d post something which was not related to my daily grind of being an accountant.

This weekend has been restful and fun.

Yesterday, Saturday, I spent the afternoon with Mr Puck watching “Extras” – a television series from The Office genius Ricky Gervais. And the evening was the celebration of Mr Andrew’s birthday. The birthday dinner was held at a restaurant in ChinaTown – and quite a few peeps showed up for the celebration. I managed to snag a seat next to C2 (Concubine #2) – both of us are the concubines of a certain Mr Brian Walsh, who tends to pick up groupies rather easily.

Today, Sunday, I have spent the day doing such odd things such as napping, reading, nibbling on some crackers and napping yet again.

Inbetween all of this madcap activity were my moments of devotion to my tiny demon – Pupa. He’s become addicted to “Fancy Feast” and won’t eat his kibble anymore. I am trying to wean him off the “Fancy Feast” and back to his organic kibble. He managed to eat 2 piece of kibble today.

Oh the wild life I lead.

Nearly a year Ago

Tags

family, friends, health, me, surgery

… I had my big uber surgery. I will be having a little drink with friends next weekend to celebrate my surviving the surgery.

A lot of changes have gone on in my life in the past 18 months – the surgery being one of them. Another was losing my job at Airmiles. I admit I was devasted by the job loss, especially as I was trying to nail down a surgical date; which made it difficult to find a new job as I couldn’t give a definitive date for the surgery. Luckily I did find a temporary placement at Corus Entertainment, which kept me going financially and mentally until a month prior to surgery. My time at Corus did wonders in rebuilding my confidence in my professional skills, which helped in not overstressing my body prior to the big slicing.

The surgery, as those who have read my blog entries, was brutal. I got through it all with a lot of support from my parental units and my brother. As well, friends checking up on me while I was in hospital – Cassie & Stu, Mike, Puck, Brian, Lydia, Andrew, Rebecca. And when I got out a lot of words of support from friends both far and near.

What I did notice is that those who have called themselves my friends really fall into two-camps – true friends and fair weather friends, the former I appreciate and adore and the latter I no longer make an effort to maintain a semblance of a friendship –if they want to talk or get together with me, that’s fine, but I am no longer prepared to expend the energy to do so, it’s better spent on other endeavours.

Those who call themselves my friends, but who I consider to be fair-weather friends, are those who couldn’t be bothered to see if I was okay. Individuals who cannot be bothered or do not want to be bothered with expressing concern if I have a kidney infection, suffering through MRSA, a really bad UTI, being put on a respirator because I went unconscious for 5 days right after surgery. But if I am smiling and seem happy than they are fine with talking with me, and trying to enjoy happy moments.

This surgery opened up my eyes to who are my true friends, to who I want to spend time with. The surgery also made me realise how fleeting life is, and it’s just not worth chasing after people who cannot be bothered to pay attention to me unless there’s something in it for them.

One Year Ago…almost

Tags

friends, health, hospital, surgery, survival

… I had my big uber surgery. I will be having a little drink with friends next weekend to celebrate my surviving the surgery.

A lot of changes have gone on in my life in the past 18 months – the surgery being one of them. Another was losing my job at Airmiles. I admit I was devasted by the job loss, especially as I was trying to nail down a surgical date; which made it difficult to find a new job as I couldn’t give a definitive date for the surgery. Luckily I did find a temporary placement at Corus Entertainment, which kept me going financially and mentally until a month prior to surgery. My time at Corus did wonders in rebuilding my confidence in my professional skills, which helped in not overstressing my body prior to the big slicing.

The surgery, as those who have read my blog entries, was brutal. I got through it all with a lot of support from my parental units and my brother. As well, friends checking up on me while I was in hospital – Cassie & Stu, Mike, Puck, Brian, Lydia, Andrew, Rebecca. And when I got out a lot of words of support from friends both far and near.

What I did notice is that those who have called themselves my friends really fall into two-camps – true friends and fair weather friends, the former I appreciate and adore and the latter I no longer make an effort to maintain a semblance of a friendship –if they want to talk or get together with me, that’s fine, but I am no longer prepared to expend the energy to do so, it’s better spent on other endeavours.

Those who call themselves my friends, but who I consider to be fair-weather friends, are those who couldn’t be bothered to see if I was okay. Individuals who cannot be bothered or do not want to be bothered with expressing concern if I have a kidney infection, suffering through MRSA, a really bad UTI, being put on a respirator because I went unconscious for 5 days right after surgery. But if I am smiling and seem happy than they are fine with talking with me, and trying to enjoy happy moments.

This surgery opened up my eyes to who are my true friends, to who I want to spend time with. The surgery also made me realise how fleeting life is, and it’s just not worth chasing after people who cannot be bothered to pay attention to me unless there’s something in it for them.

My birthday

Tags

birthday, friends

…yipee, I had fun.

As some of you know, who care to peruse my archives, I celebrated my birthday a tad early for the simple reason being that this year the anniversary of my birth was on a Tuesday.

I managed to round-up a fairly ecclectic bunch of miscreants to celebrate my downward spiral towards second childhood (aka senility). As always my usual companion in the shape of Tarotcub was there – and for some reason which I cannot fathom he really got into the gin & sodas – dear god that man could put them away, I lost count after the 7th.

Mr Brian Walsh also attended and he managed to forget how many pints he had drunk at our first pub/bar. I would like to mention that I have singled Mr Walsh out since he is developing quite a cult following on Facebook.

Mistress Lydia and her ever-faithful life companion, Mr Andrew, showed as well as Miss Rebecca. I especially enjoyed the look on Lydia’s face that some of us have known for weeks that her Mr Andrew is kidnapping her to a secret location for her birthday.

I had great fun with Wolfsong’s gift of blowing soap bubbles (I had asked for no gifts, so there wouldn’t be any pressure on anyone, I just wanted to enjoy the day), which were greatly appreciated. Mandy and Tim were leaping about like feral cats, trying to eat the bubbles and take pics of the bubbles.

Amber managed to prance in like a little pixie (she’s not that little, the wench towers over me and makes me feel like a hobbit), Daniel meandered in and John showed up all Steam-Punk. Mr Michael was his effervescent self, as always.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

 

Birthday Weekend

Tags

birthday, friends, mother

My birthday is in a couple of days, but as it falls on a work day this is the weekend to celebrate my increasing decrepitude.

Today my mother took me out for lunch. She hasn’t been taking care of her teeth for the past decade so her gums are quite sore so I had to choose where she would lavish me with lunch. I chose The Old Spaghetti Factory. She was able to munch away on a manicotti. Afterwards I popped into the office to do some extra work and now I sit at my ‘puter typing away.

Tomorrow is a piss up at The Pilot Tavern here in Toronto – a wake of sorts, for my fast diminishing youth.

I never really relished my birthday so much before. In the past it was just another day, a sort of yearly “meh, I’m older” but when I turned 30 I started looking forward to celebrating my old age. Am I in the “seventh stage of man” as expressed in Shakespeare’s “As You Like It” – have I reached second childhood, bypassing 3 other ages?