Tags
Ever since I’ve moved over to the UK Christmas has not been my favourite time of the year. To be honest, I never really liked it, but it was mostly a bemused attitude towards Christmas-time. Now I just dread it.
What do I miss? Am I missing something? I am missing my family – which right now is just my mother and brother. I miss Kucios. I am used to getting together with family, and family friends, sharing in the 12 meatless dishes, breaking bread, sharing blessings on each other, and reminiscing about loved ones who have passed away. My Christmas was always a quiet and reflective and peaceful time. My parents never showered us with gifts. We did not write letters to Santa either, as there is no Santa Claus in my parents’ traditions – there’s Grandfather Christmas, he wasn’t the kindly fat old man that most kids seem to believe in. I think I was 6yrs old when I had my biggest haul – a batmobile, a barbie and a toy ambulance.
Now I live in the UK and have a new family – my husband’s. It’s a completely different cultural experience for me. As a reminder, my parents are Lithuanian so I grew up with Lithuanian customs and traditions. My husband is English, so I am trying to get used to English/British traditions, but it’s hard. The meal is difficult for me – the focus seems to be eating as much as you can, and then ripping through tonnes of wrapping paper to find something that was originally on your Wish List (that was distributed to the family) anyways, so you have a fair idea of what you’re getting. Part of the joy with my family was that I never knew what I was getting, it was always a surprise .. and was an indication that they thought long & hard as to what they should get you (or at least that is the general idea .. sometimes it was just socks).
For me the evening of December 24th was the magical time. December 25th is a nothing day to me – it’s a day to get together with friends at the local chinese restaurant, have a meal and maybe go see a movie.
So I’ll try and enjoy Christmas, but I am desperately missing my mother and enjoying my own cultural traditions. I believe my ennui in many ways is due to the fact that I don’t really get to celebrate my cultural traditions – I feel stifled in many ways in that regard.
Teresa said:
So sorry you don’t enjoy UK Christmas. I have to say that when I was in the States I didn’t get their Christmas traditions much, which was just 1 day off for Xmas and then straight back to work on Boxing Day. Christmas to me is time with the family, yes seeing the kids tear open the presents in 5 minutes that I have spent a whole evening wrapping!! I don’t disagree that for quite a few children they get over indulged (my own included). Interestingly I wonder whether it is more for the parents than the children? In my case, my husband remembers Christmas as a youngster when he did not receive lots of presents ( or not the ones he wanted as money was tight in the dim and dark past) and he doesn’t want the boys to have that same feeling. Is there a Lithuanian church somewhere close, maybe in London for you to go to?
I know you don’t like this time of year, but take comfort you have friends who care about you xx
opinionatedbean said:
There are no Lithuanian Churches near us .. London yes. But as you know, the trains don’t work on Christmas & Boxing Day 🙂
In Canada we do get Christmas & Boxing Day off, but coming from a very multicultural city, where nothing really shut down (including public transit) it was very easy to do my thing with my parentals and then just enjoy the rest of the holidays at my own pace, doing what I wanted to do .. seeing friends, seeing a movie, doing a korean barbeque with my best friend, checking out the shops or go ice skating .. which is FREE in Canada .. none this £9 for a 30 minute skate at Winchester Cathedral 🙂
Yvonne Aburrow said:
In my family, we open the presents one at a time, and go round in a circle taking our time. Not a big free-for-all rush.