Warning, this could be a long and rambling blog post. This has nothing to do with the arcane science of accounting or musings on where I work, Potato Inc. Looking over my blog history I have noticed a trend – I tend to become disenchanted with social media and people in general around this time of year.

I have made an announcement on the Twitters that I am mulling the idea of deleting my account and turning my back on it. I think my lack of delight in the medium is how I interact with others. Maybe it’s the evils of trying to communicate within a restriction of 140 characters – but I don’t feel very wanted or appreciated in any way shape or form.

There have been three twitter peeps that I made hand-crotchet chthulhus, and shortly after getting these I get dumped as a “friend”. A rather nasty part of me thinks I should demand these back, as they were gifts given to people who I had assumed I was on friendly terms with, but it appears I am not. There have been peeps who require reassurances due to whatever misfortunes are going on in their lives. I announce I am to have surgery and I see dead silence as a response. Granted after a bit of bitching I got some responses.

A lovely lady thinks people feel uncomfortable trying to find the words to say/type when trying to converse with a person with chronic issues, so instead of awkward words I get awkward silence. Know what can be a downer? Silence. At least with awkward words you can get the feeling that someone cares that you exist.

I am also getting the same feeling when on Facebook.

One friend once described me as being sarcastic. I get people staring at me aghast if I appear to be miffed. It’s as if I am now required to be a happy bouncy Bean without a care in the world, not giving 2 figs what others think of me.

I am complaining, and being self-indulgent here. I am well aware of that. But every once in a while, in my case once a year, I need to unburden myself and say, “I don’t think people notice my existence”.

It’s gotten so bad lately that I am seriously contemplating giving up my dream of moving to the UK as I don’t want to  be a burden on my new family there.

I just want to be a ball and shrivel up.