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Today was my bi-monthly visit with my urologist, Dr Herschorn – for a very comfortable cystoscopy. I had mentioned in December, when I last saw him, that I would like him to perform a “perineal repair”. For those who follow the wacky world of ‘bladder exstrophy’ many of us ladies have problems in adulthood with coitus – in that we can’t have it due to whatever happened in our early childhoods with regards to our first few surgeries.

I have spent that last frickin’ 15 years trying to get a gynecologist to take care of this. I had my stoma “installed” four years ago with Dr Patricia Lee, from Sunnybrook, being part of the surgery – her part being to fix a prolapsing uterus and to fix my vaginal opening. The woman did not fix my vaginal opening, with the comment that I need to see a plastic surgeon. I have contacted 3 plastic surgeons, and not one of them would take me on.

Luckily I was emailing with a lovely lady in California who also has BE, and she told me that her urologist did her perineal repair and her vaginoplasty. Her urologist – not a gynecologist but a urologist. I asked Dr Herschorn in December and today he took a peek. It’s a simple snip but because he’s never done one before he wants to bring Dr Lee on board.

It takes up to a year to see this woman. And for the past 10 years I have been trying to get her to do something. Why can a urologist with a simple 2 minute examination say “oh yes, this needs to be cut” when a gynecologist lectures me on using dilators and using the services of a plastic surgeon. I need this done now! I am done being batted about. Last time was when trying to schedule my last surgery – and with all the back & forth and lack of communication I got fired from a position because my employer was tired of the doctors not getting together and just working out a plan.

I am afraid this will happen again. That woman’s secretary better get back to me by Monday with a date that is in the next month or heads will roll. She’s had a decade to fix me and she’s done f*ck all.