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Medical Clinics are hit & miss, sometimes you can get a really good doctor and other times you get one who truly believes he/she knows more than the patient. I have been going, off and on, to a particular clinic when I need immediate help. They have enough in my file to know that I only show up when I have a UTI – no other reason. They also have it in my file that I am a Bladder Exstrophy patient with a catheterisable stoma, and a neo-bladder. I am not some twit who self-diagnoses based upon what she has seen on the lastest television episode of “The Doctors”.

Yesterday I got a doctor who was rather idiotic. She asked me if I am taking any medication on a regular basis. My response was that I am not on any prophylactics. She repeated the question 3 times and 3 times I said, rather loudly “I’m not on any prophylactics”. The woman was an idiot – does she not know what the word means? Then in a rather patronising tone “are you on any medication at the moment?” and I rather angrily said “no, I’m not on any maintenance regime”.

Next question – why are you here? I had answered the nurse who first “assessed” me and I said I have a UTI. How do you know  you have one? My response – my stoma hurts, there’s mucuous in the urine and a rather large amount of sediment. Her next question just screamed that she wasn’t paying attention – does it hurt to pee? I almost smacked her. How can it hurt when I pee through a stoma?

I said, again rather loudly, the stoma has no nerve endings so no, I do not have a burning sensation.

She finally looked up from her notes to actually look at me.

I said, rather tersely, that I come into this particular clinic for UTIs only and nothing else. That I’ve had over 100 infections and am perfectly aware of what I have. What I don’t have is the legal right to write my own scripts – which is all I really need her for. I had already given a sample and at this point I wanted a script to get me going until the results were in .

How do you know you don’t have a kidney infection? My kidneys don’t hurt. Do you know where your kidneys are? Yes (goddam you stupid woman) I am perfectly aware where the different parts of my urinary tract are.

I could have screamed.

I just needed a script. If I could write one, and just drop off a sample without ever having to deal with idiots like this I would be a very happy bean.