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I haven’t been feeling the greatest for the last little while, and as some of my faithful readers have been rather forthright with their opinions I managed to drag myself to the ER on Thursday. I got the help I needed, but that wasn’t the fun bit.  I can’t really describe this in cohesive paragraphs, so I’ll point form. Needless to say it was an eventful evening/early morning for me:

  • There was the inevitable requirement to go through triage. I got that glazed look from the triage nurse when asking me why I was in. I could tell they thought I was attention seeking. When asked where my pain is, I said it was just below my stoma, circling round my right flank. The word “stoma” perked him up right quick. All of a sudden I moved from the category of attention seeker to chronic medical patient. There was the inevitable set of questions of what sort of stoma is it, where did i get it done, why do i have one. As I’ve been in out of hospital since the day I was ripped from my mother’s womb I’m use to this.
  • Mike went off to visit IKEA, I left him with instructions to get me some dinner.
  • Cat showed up while the nurses, in their foolishness, tried to take a blood draw. After 4 pokes and 2 nurses they manage to draw 4 vials of blood and setup a saline lock for me. I freaked out the peeps in the waiting area, cos of my screams. I may be use to it, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy the pain, and painful it was .. what with all their digging. And I had the toddler-sized needle.
  • They also put a ridiculous mask on me, cos I’m all dangerous and shit cos I had MRSA nearly 3 years ago.
  • Cat kept me company and the hilarity ensued.
  • We were checking the paramedics and police officers – discussing which ones were hot or not. LAB would be so proud.
  • There was an elderly gentleman joined by two of his sons, with very questionable fashion taste. Seems the wife was in Acute Care in the ER being tended by 20 medical professionals. One of the sons got a wee bit high-strung when told he could not come in to check on his mother. A few minutes later 3 police officers came out asking the family if they could go somewhere private to discuss the little old lady. Because she fell down a set of stairs this automatically triggers a police investigation (of elder abuse). One of the sons was very belligerent saying that he’s calling his lawyer. The police officers were very patient and explained that calling of a lawyer was his perogative.
  • Another lady came in with what I assume was her father. She was carrying also 4 pieces of something that I can only assume is luggage. She was shaking all over the place, constantly moving about. Cat said she must be a crack addict; and this reminded me of that incident at the Post Office near Archway Tube Station this past June where a fellow kept yanking his trousers up and down.
  • After a little while I got fed up waiting and started asking the triage nurse when am I going in. After 6hrs I truly got fed up so I paged Urology. I got taken in within 20min of my call. I don’t like using the Urology Department as a big stick, but I was getting annoyed .. they were waiting to get me into an isolation room because of my MRSA and yet they felt comfortable leaving me in the waiting area amongst all the other patients.
  • In that 20 minute interval some doctor waltzed in announcing rather loudly that he was there to perform an autopsy — said rather loudly to the registrar, over the head of a young lady being registered  (who Cat and I thought was in for a cyst that she may have been passing) — that just evokes great confidence in a hospital.
  • In the meanwhile, the crackhead – her father got taken in and she disappeared into the toilet. After half an hour someone asked the triage nurse if someone could check her out, as she had locked herself in there. This particular triage nurse, I’ve dealt with her before, is pure laziness. She suggested we knock on the door. Someone did and 30 minutes after that she came out .. even more shaky. We believe she was doing crack in the hospital toilet.
  • Was finally taken in and put into some odd little room. The ridiculous triage nurse never told the Blue Zone ER nurse that I was in there .. she was waiting for me!
  • Finally got some delicious meds, Keflex, as a mega dose IV. I fell asleep.
  • Cat had to leave me at 3am cos she had to work in the morning and one Tarotcub waltzed in after getting mouthy with some jewish granny.
  • While the IV was dripping into me Tarotcub stood watch while I dozed. I heard something about how he envies my  natural narcolepsy – I can fall asleep anywhere, rather easily too.
  • Seems the ER doctor who was taking care of me was quite the hotty, so Tarotcub and I were discussing his merits from the perspective of a gay man and a straight woman.
  • I was tweeting the whole time .. thank the stars Sunnybrook has wifi
  • Got home at 4:30am and had a banana before going to bed.
  • So there, I went to the ER, all you blasted nags!
  • 🙂