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I blog a lot about the joys of being an accountant, and many of the rants tend to be fairly repetitive – I am well aware of this.

Today at work there were some good moments and some bad moments. But overall, there was a heck of a lot of funny moments – not funny “ha ha” but more of case of me being highly amused by others.

Today is the last business day of the month which means I had a shit load of journal entries to do for the August close. I managed to do most of them, in preparation for tomorrow’s variance analysis meeting with the Director and CFO. We are also gearing up for our quarterly reforecast. I had done my homework, meeting with the IT Director to discuss IT spend (both capital and overhead). As most of my co-workers are pampered and tend to have numbers fed to them, instead of them actually making the effort to do any forecasting analysis, I managed to determine for each of the 7 entities where there needs to be some adjustments made to the reforecasts. As an excellent co-worker I crunched the numbers and fed it all to the others – all in a pretty table, fitting onto a single page.

I have my forecast numbers ready for my meeting later this week. I also have documented my rationale for my numbers. One of my co-workers, who I have blogged about not having much ability with Excel, asked me to reformat an Excel-Magnitude spreadsheet for her affiliate. Excel-Magnitude is an odd little add-on to Excel used for pulling data from Cartesis – our reporting tool. To get the report to work one needs to know which affiliate code to type in. When I was asking “what do you mean you don’t know your own affiliate code” my manager walked into my office, hearing me say that rather loudly to my co-worker. I am quite sure there will be some eyebrows raised — and this is one of the many funnies today for me. The other will be how she needs to explain herself to senior management — the fact that she has to get another co-worker to do her analysis, and prepare her spreadsheets.

Another funny stems from a problem we’ve been having with our bank account; to be blunt, it has been compromised and needs to be closed. The end result is that there is no cheque run this week — no one is getting paid. Oh the sheer panic, spreading like lice through the Agency. Today I had a question “you mean only the invoices submitted this week, right? The stuff from last will be paid, I am assuming.” I had to reassure the fellow that he is quite wrong and that no one is getting a single penny this week.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow’s variance analysis meeting. The Agency has been spending wildly again, and having to explain that the twits have spent $20K on taxis yet again in a single month … it’s sheer lunacy. No one will take the creative peeps to task and tell them to stop spending like “Mad Men“.

The worst bit? I am still feeling quite feverish. I have been gulping down vitamin pills like a crack addict. I need to survive another 48hrs and then I can drag my sorry ass to the ER and hopefully get admitted for the weekend — so they could pump me full of delicious antibiotics. The abdominal pain is getting worse by the hour, and that is being staved off by mega doses of pain killers.