I saw the most shocking thing today, on my way to get my lunch. Brace yourselves – I saw a woman (I refuse to call her a lady, what she wore was a crime against the senses) wearing white crocs with black hose. I was astounded that anyone could pair two items of clothing and come up with the most hideous outfit imaginable. It was not a pretty sight. I had to close my eyes and think “calm blue oceans, calm blue oceans”.

I don’t like crocs in general, I think they rank right up there with the hideous jelly shoes of the mid-80s and neon-yellow mesh tank tops. And to pair them with understated black hose – the mind just boggles. Plus, doesn’t this woman realise that one should not wear white shoes past Labour Day?

Mind you, she also had a mullet – with the short/top bit permed and the longer bit stick straight. I reminded of the white trash one can find in a trailer park. And this is was in the downtown core, surrounded by clothing shops with window displays which most definately do not show the mannequins in poor fashion choices with bouffants on their plastic heads.