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While my nurse was doing my daily dressing this past Saturday she mentioned my hole may not be completely closed before I scamper off to thesunny climes of England in September. This means, according to her, that I may have to get my friends to help me with the silver nitrate gauze (to stuff into my hole). I promptly emailed Geeklawyer, Ruthie and Cantrell. Ruthie is willing to help out, haven’t heard from Cantrell and Geeklaywer – I swear he screamed like a little girl, wagging her pigtails saying “no no no no”.

I have found, and yes I am making a generalisation, that it is men who are the weaker sex. Since my surgery it has been women who have said “okay, let’s take a look” –other than Ms Butternuts who gets quite squeamish. The men, on the other hand, hide like little pansies. My father doesn’t even want to discuss my stoma or the hole. My brother turns green at the mention of my stoma. Diresquirrel wimpers and asks for a bunny to cuddle. Mr Brian is fine, but he works in a hospital setting as a chaplain and is generally quite strong with regards to surgical scars.

It has been my experience that it is the men who breakdown and wimper more readily than women when it comes to healthcare issues. My mother, sweetest dumpling in the world, with an extremely soft voice, can turn into a valykerie when one of us is sick. My father, who tends to take on the typical eastern european macho role, breaks down and cries.

I’m fine, by the way. The hole is down to 1.8cm deep with a diameter of 3mm. If the hole gets to under 1cm before I leave for England than Geeklawyer need not worry, I won’t need to stuff the hole. I can do the topical dressing myself.