November 6, 2009 at 7:18 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: silly
Got this off a friend and I thought it hilarious:
The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant..
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over..
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
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June 14, 2009 at 6:50 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: england, geeklawyer, holidays, ruthie
Yesterday doesn’t count as I had gotten off the plane and was quite knackered, but there was still some fun & some frustrations.
Landed at Gatwick, which seems to be under a huge renovation. Got through Customs fairly quickly, with the Brits believing I am no threat to British National Security. So that bit was easy. The difficult part came next. Had to wait nearly 40 minutes before the bag handlers started to unload our luggage onto the luggage carosel. I rang Ruthie, who was waiting for me, to reassure her that I was not in need of legal representation, and that I was not in the midst of being molested by Her Majesty’s Customs Officers. I finally got my suitcase and met up with Ruthie — to pass the time she bought a new wallet & a sturdy handbag which could knock out a few teeth on any would-be assailant.
We wooshed our way up to Cambridgeshire and had a lovely lunch before making it over to Ruthie’s palatial estate. I was suitably inspected by her two cats – Atilla & Ghengis, and they approved of me. Later we went into Cambridge for Ruthie’s tango lesson…I watched, was amused and impressed at the same time of the different students’ level of ability.
Today, day 2, I was asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I felt ambitious and chose a 5mile walk around Wimpole Hall. I wimped out, and managed to do 2miles…much to Ruthie’s eternal delight, and has promised to never let me hear the end of it. Did get some fab pics of some tiny bunnies, black goats, a folly, and Wimpole Hall itself.
Tomorrow, it’s off to Geeklawyer’s spacious accomodations before we jet off to Lithuania.
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March 14, 2009 at 7:22 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: music, video
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March 13, 2009 at 5:33 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: accountants, accounting, blawg, blogging, blogs, charonqc, geeklawyer
.. I was having an interesting conversation with Geeklawyer a few weeks ago with regards to blogs with particular slants – for example, his blog is the mental meanderings of a British Barrister which is followed by many individuals in the legal profession throughout the world. My blog is primarily that of a madcap accountant, also with a few screws loose.
This got me to thinking. Other individuals out there in the lawblawg-verse also have legal blogs such as CharonQC, Lo-Fi, Simply Wonder, Ruthie’s Law, BabyBarrista and so forth. But yet the accounting profession doesn’t seem to have jumped onto the blogging bandwagon.
Is this because accountants are by their very nature quiet, reserved and lead boring existences? I have attended one LawBlawg Gathering in London, last year, and my experiences meeting all those lawyers is that they are all stark raving crackers. Does one need a particular mindset to blog? If I blog, do I have the the same mindset & proclivities of a sexually deviant british barrister? Mayhaps I should give up this whole accounting schtick and become a tax lawyer – ooo there’s a thought.
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March 12, 2009 at 10:37 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: silly
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March 4, 2009 at 1:19 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: video
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February 28, 2009 at 10:40 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: dreams
You know you are spending too much time thinking about tax if you are awoken from a nightmare about submitting VAT payments to different provincial authorities whilst traveling by Tardis.
In this nightmare I was arguing with the Doctor (he was fuzzed out, so I can’t say which one, but I suspect it may have been Jon Pertwee as the 3rd Doctor) about how we had to submit payment for VAT by a certain date or we’d have to pay penalties. Since this was a dream naturally there was no logic involved – so we were speeding through time and space to submit our VAT before we’d have to be subjected to late penalty fines and interest.
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February 28, 2009 at 3:18 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: silly
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February 27, 2009 at 6:59 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: parents, tax returns, taxes
…it has begun!
I have received the phone call I get each year from my mother in February – “your father would like to know when you can come over and do our taxes”. I like how she uses my father as an excuse, instead of stating the obvious – they gave me life, now I must do their taxes. Naturally, I am a dutiful child and will bow to the wishes of my parental units; I’m off to their condo tomorrow to do their taxes.
Several of my friends as well, knowing that I am a CGA (Certified General Accountant) revel and delight in the fact that I could, if I wanted to, do their taxes. Only problem, for me, is that I cannot charge money for this – if I did, as per the rules & guidelines of the CGA I have to purchase professional liability insurance (which can run up to $1000). What does this mean? I do what Diresquirrel use to do – request a meal in exchange for doing taxes, so that there is no official monetary gain for me doing their taxes.. in essence I would be doing their taxes, officially, as a favour and in turn they would take me out for dinner as a thank you.
But if those of you reading this think that I will do your taxes if you offer me other items such as athames, candles, incense, etc.. think again. If I can’t charge money I want a meal – since it would help in saving me from having to purchase groceries the meal does have an impact on my monthly budget. Though athames, swords, candles, incense and whatnot are lovely they serve no purpose to me except as shiny baubles. Now, if any of you want to whisk me off to say Bali then I am willing to negotiate.
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